• dutchster:

    Do the birds and bees ever hang out or do they just fuck every time?

  • How was life before Pop-Tarts, Prozac and padded playgrounds? They ate strudel, took opium and played on the grass. Jennifer Michael Hecht (via observando)
  • bundere:

    Why are boobs so soft. What are they made of. Is it the dreams of a thousand small rabbits

    (Source: glitterlop)

  • meladoodle:

    *fake moustache falls off to reveal a real moustache* god damn my identity is revealed

    (Source: meladoodle)

  • idonegaffedit:

    i accidentally told my friend the sweetest pick up line ever. i started talking about solipsism (the belief that everything around you was created by your mind) and i went “If everything around me is all my imagination, then you’re the best thing I’ve come up with” she was speechless for a solid five minutes.

  • trillow:

    this is the police. open up. tell me something about yourself, don’t be afraid

  • (Source: nevermindtheb0ll0cks)

  • wifipasswords:

    Let’s play a fun game called “we’re just friends but I’d fuck you if you asked”

  • Im a creep.

Time to study